A Writing Hiatus

 

Nothing to do with the post.  But a landscape photo I took in October 2026 in Montana.

This is the first time in more than 6 months that I have actually felt like writing down my thoughts.  I debate if not writing is actually a positive step for me.  Many times I choose to write because I have thoughts I need to sort and truth I need to speak.  I have had several months of entangled emotional thoughts.  Some I didn’t want to commit to paper and so much emotional confusion. There were some dark days and even weeks, but I have been able to place all my odd shaped blocks of emotions, memories, responses, fear, regret, rejection, acceptance, grief, progression and regression into my magical shape sorter and am back to living life.  

Maybe I should have been processing through writing and putting all of my thoughts and fears of the unknown down on paper so that when the time comes again  and I need to trudge down an unknowing path, I can just pick up the paper and use it as a map to lead me back to myself and who I have worked so hard to become over the past 23 years. Sometimes I hate my “out loud” way of processing. I take situations that are out of my control and somehow turn and twist them to be about me.  Well it may appear I am making it about me, but in truth it is how I turn the coin of “situation” looking at all sides of it and then inject my own experiences so that I can understand the situation, how the person may feel and determine how I can help.  I get it, to those experiencing my process first hand it appears that I make stressful situations all about me. I recognize that and do my best to adapt. For years, I have tried to keep my processing quiet and away from the world, but I am not always successful especially when the situation is so overwhelming. Which is one reason I write.  Ok after processing this last paragraph, I see now that  I should not have taken a hiatus from writing.