Finding My Words is Painful

There are weeks and months like this one that I believe my blogging days are over.  It is so hard for me  to put my thoughts on paper.  I have always blogged because I enjoy it, but lately it has been frustrating.  I have thoughts I want to put into words, but that part of my brain is short circuiting and I get lost in the writing of a sentence let alone trying to keep the cohesiveness of a paragraph.  And my spelling, ugh.  The simplest words are so hard to form.  Thank goodness for spellcheck.  

Typically, I will write a blog entry and wait for a day or so and reread it and fix the word damage and broken thoughts before I post it.  If you read any of my blogs over the past 15 years, my decline is obvious.  To be honest, I write for myself, but I do love when someone reads it and comments.  I am at a cross roads with my blog.  I have loved writing my entire life, but now it is so hard to do.  I don't know if I should stop or press on forward so that I have a journal of my thoughts.  At this point, who is it for?  Why do I need a journal of my thoughts and a record of my life happenings?  

If I stop, is it giving in to the damage and set back of my disease? Or should I push through so that I can exercise that brain muscle that may or may not help so say the doctors?  Writing used to help me order my thoughts, but my brain doesn't work like that now.  Instead of an outlet, my writing is a short circuiting wire that may burn down the house.