The &*%^% it Bucket

This summer has been a busy one with all of our travel.  I feel like we are making up for lost time.  I am finally coming out of the health challenge that began 2 1/2 years ago.  I have a new normal and I have finally come to terms with it.  

No one knows how much time they have or what the quality of that time will be, but when slapped in the face with that realization, Bruce and I had a big mental shift, well once my brain had calmed down enough to put together thoughts.  We have named it the “Fuck it Bucket.”  If anyone knows me at all, they know that word is deplorable to my ears.  I absolutely detest that Fnnn word.  My hate runs so deep that my daughter had me watch a show on the history of the word thinking it would change my mind.  It honestly gave me a different look at it.  I believe it is the way I hear it used and so often that it is like nails on a chalkboard.  When I hear it used every third word it reminds me of the lazy linguistic styling of a teenage girl who uses “like” or “ok” five times in a sentence.  But sometimes a word is just a word and I try to increase my tolerance when it is used appropriately.  The “Fuck it Bucket” is one of those times because there is no other single word that expresses it as well.

In our bucket we place the items that we have no control over and those things that we have wanted to do but the time was wasn’t right due to schedules or financials.  Maybe it is our age or our circumstances or a celebration of the rewards our struggling years have brought us, but we don’t sweat the small things now and realize our life is now not in 5 or 10 years when things are “more stable” or “better”. So basically our “someday” list became our “now” list.  We have known too many people who have lost the opportunity to do things they wanted to do or experience due to unexpected situations and regretted not doing it sooner.  We made career and family decisions in our life (that we are happy with) that caused us to delay our “us” time.  As empty nesters, we are taking our “us” time now.  Owning our own business also helps with our scheduling.  It is easy to take time off in the slower months and long weekends in the summer. I feel like I need to state that we are still fiscally responsible and don’t plan expensive trips traipsing across Europe. Well wait… We did that…. But it was planned and budgeted years before.  In fact, our travels are typically budgeted.  We have a “no kids at home” overage that has become the “vacation fund”. 

What did our bucket look like this year?  A 2 week trip to Spain, Italy, Greece, Croatia and Montenegro, 4 days visiting the Great Smokey Mountains National Park, 3 days in the Rocky Mountain National Park, learning to fly-fish, a seven day road trip with friends next month, and 8 camping trips in our trailer through 6 states. Yes, this year was an overflowing bucket of travel.

Reflection:  With Bruce and I’s busy summer are children questioned whether our health was ok.  Did we get a diagnosis that we are not sharing?  I think it began as a joke, but then took root.  No diagnosis, but aren’t we all dying a little each day?  We have spent our lives providing for our family, giving lessons in kindness, generosity and grace.  We have taught our children how to budget their finances and how to follow your career dreams.  We have tried to teach them how to appreciate nature and the soul healing it provides.  With all these lessons, did we forget to show them how to live life?