Loosening My Grip

 

This week has been a busy one. It as if when the sun comes out and the temperatures rise, the hours in the day get shorter. I almost have to look back at my calendar to see what kept me so busy. I did continue my medicine cabinet purge and discovered my AVEDA Smooth Infusion nourishing styling creme. I bought it many years ago and loved it! I would towel dry my hair and place only a dime size or less into my hands and run my fingers through my hair. It was pricey, especially for this frugal girl, but it lasted me several years. One of the reasons for it's longevity, is because it got pushed to the back of my medicine cabinet and I forget about it for long spans of time. Another reason it was never ending was because I discovered the formula changed when I went to purchase a new bottle. I asked my stylist to use the new product after a haircut and I hated it. It felt heavy and sticky, not like the previous light conditioner I loved. So what did I do? I hoarded my bottle at home. I only used it on special occasions wanting to extend it's usage (that had already extended beyond it's 24 months shelf span). My question is why? Why when I love a product do I hold onto to it so tightly, not wanting to surrender it to the trash bin? I do this with many things. The last 2 chocolates in Ghirardelli bag. I know I can go to the store and buy more, but I will hold onto the 2 pieces for months. I often will place them out of sight and forget about them completely. I do a similar thing with my favorite Nivea lip balm. Though it can be sometimes hard to find, Amazon carries it so I can just buy more. These items hold no sentimental value to me, but I still store them away like a squirrel storing nuts for the winter. I have come to the unprofessional conclusion that though I detest clutter, in many aspects my fear overtakes my aptitude for decluttering. In my childhood I, like many, suffered many losses and some traumatic moments. My family had to deal with food and financial insecurity and I believe that the emotions and memories are a fiber in the strands of my development. It was what it was and it is what it is. I believe that this is a foundational reason I hold onto many items so tightly. If I hold onto things, protect and savor them - I am not taking them for granted. If I hold onto things - I won't lose something enjoy and not be able to replace it. If I hold onto things - I will still have it if the world crumbles beneath me. Well those are some deep thoughts brought on from 2-3 year old hair styling creme.

As I continue to declutter my medicine cabinet, I used the last off the creme this week and through the empty bottle in the trash bin. Stuff is just stuff and I know that. Don't misunderstand, I still do not want to waste and intend on using all of my unexpired items in my medicine cabinet or repurpose them. I recognize my inclination to hold onto certain things and I am loosening my grip.

Is there anything that you have a hard time letting go of?